Not enough male Gynecologists
Males complain they don't want to work as Gynecologist because it's disgusting work and they don't want to deal with the smell and diseases.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Gynecologist breaks out in tear
A female gynecologist broke out in tears during a news briefing arguing that she was forced to penetrate over two million women using instruments, because she needed to put food on her table.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
N.O.W. won't trust black women
The National Organization for Women said in a news briefing that they would never trust black women to hold their pocketbooks or allow horny black women to escort their white sons on dates.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
N.O.W. proclaimed Mexican women to be ugly
The National Organization for Women classified Mexican women as ugly when they refused to marry them off to their young, handsome sons.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Lesbian monster, Jenny Shimizu lost her fame
The awful looking lesbian freak Jenny Shimizu lost her fame when famous actresses stopped using her four cheap thrills.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Rage Against the Machine single vies with X-Factor winner for Xmas top spot
Sony must be laughing all the way to the bank - I expect there will be a version of 'Killing in the Name' on Joe McElderry's debut album.
written by Roy Turse, 15 December 2009
Lesbians in prison
Hundreds of lesbian inmates, red faced with agony, marched in protest because they have not seen a real penis in over thirty-five years.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Lesbian attacks a Mexican man
In a fit of rage against men, a lesbian stabbed a Mexican man in his penis with a jackknife she was carrying.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
N.O.W attacks men
The National Organization for Women said in a news brief that every man alive should have his penis cut off with a pair of rusty scissors.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Hail To The Chief..... Hottie!
President Obama has announced the banning of all things Oprah. "Jeez Louise, the woman chased my fine ass all OVER the White House!," said the Prez. "And the First Lady is PISSED!"
written by Geneva Slim, 15 December 2009
Declare Independence From US
Most now believe that a Post-Taliban Afghanistan will be ruled by Blackwater & several former US banking CEO's.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Still No Gays In Iran
Iran leader, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, continues to say there are no gay people in Iran. "There USED to be, but they were all Jews."
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
So Long, Lady O!
In a shocking turn, Michelle Obama has banned TV legend Oprah Winfrey from further White House visits. "I mean, she chased Barack's fine ass all OVER the White House!" said the First Lady.
written by Geneva Slim, 15 December 2009
And An Entire Nation Says ...... DUH!
CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey has announced that she has a big, honkin' crush on Barack Obama. "I just can't hide it any longer," said the TV diva. "I chased his fine ass all OVER that White House!"
written by Geneva Slim, 15 December 2009
Christmas-Shmishmas!
CHICAGO - 3 Jews were arrested Monday for throwing knishes at the Christmas tree in Daley Plaza. The 3, of the militant group "Hanukkah Now!," were released into the custody of their lawyer sons.
written by Geneva Slim, 15 December 2009
... As K-Y and Astrogilde Breathe Sighs of Relief
The Gillette Company has announced that it has discontinued production of its Tiger Woods-endorsed "FORE! Play" sex lubricant, due to the recent disclosure of Woods' sub-par conduct.
written by Geneva Slim, 15 December 2009
Money Not Everything
Bill Gates and Warren Buffett agree that money isn't everything in life. "There's a lot of other good stuff out there if you can buy it", says Buffett.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"Did You Copy That?"
Xerox president Harry Letton admits that Holiday ass-copying all that keeps company afloat.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"Whaaatttsssuppp?"
Mysterious 'voices' frightening people near landfill turns out to be from old buried cell phones.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"Settle Down, We Have To Sleep!"
Seven really old graves were discovered under a house being renovated in the Fairmount section of Philadelphia, Pa. authorities said. "Always wondered what all that screaming was about", says local.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Might Frighten Them Away
The Roswell City approved a new backyard livestock ordinance Monday night that bans roosters and limits most homeowners in the UFO landing zone to six chickens.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
The Banana Wars are officially over, Monkees and Human Monkees sign peace treaty!
The 16 year old Banana wars (longer than WW1 & 2 together) are over, Monkeys can now go back to their business, eating them, and Fyffes can get stuffed!
written by unknown
Too Much Commercialism!
Christian group launches attack on Christmas commercialism. Will switch to Kwanzaa day after Christmas and save money on sales.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
I Feel A Disaster Coming
Many in Illinois hope Gitmo detainees will help town. "We have some ex-cub scout leaders that could really give them a good talking to", says mayor.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Can't Keep Mouth's Shut
An article in Prevention Magazine has given a lot of people hope as recent testing of venom from democrat/republican confrontations could be used to make detainees talk.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"Hey, The Police!"
Donny Most, Henry Winkler accused of running some kind of Fonzie Scheme!
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
UK couple "SHAG" so loud they cause neighbour to go deaf!
A couple in Newcastle under ASBO, have refused to stop their awfully loud sex antics and now their neighbour has literally, GONE FUCKING DEAF!
written by unknown
Dropping Like Fleas
A woman who was actually at Woodstock Concert in 1969 passes away. That leaves 92.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
National Organization for Women complain about women
N.O.W. admits they unable stop women from dating men so they have embarked on a campaign to promote lesbians to take out as many women as they can.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Just Like Mom!
Justin Timberlake: Britney wouldn't allow the kids to wear diapers.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Roanoke Island Back!
The Lost Colony of Roanoke Island has been given a GPS system. "Best Christmas present anyone ever had say funny-dressed settlers."
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Just A Comparison
Thailand uses picture of the French Riviera to promote white-sand beach resort.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Nielsen Ratings awards thespoof.com
Nielsen ratings spokesman says thespoof.com brings in more viewers than most television shows because of their entertaining and rare stories which can't be found anywhere in the literary world.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Al Gore Sets Record Straight On Melting Ice Caps.
Al Gore projected 5 years ago all the polar caps would be gone by this year. He recently stated that it would take another 5 years. In his statement today he clarified he obviously meant "Dog Years".
written by OIF2Sniper, 15 December 2009
Female gynecologist says she suffered abuse
A female gynecologist complains she had to penetrate over 35 thousand women and was used like a lesbian gigolo by her abusive patients.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods is seen as a bad role model
Homosexuals are complaining about Tiger Woods' affairs with women because he was not penetrating white males in gay affairs.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
I.Q. test is required of political candidates
The public is demanding I.Q. test of political candidates be posting on ballet cards because they need to look for the most intelligent person to solve the economic problems.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods is no JFK
While JFK was praised for having an affair with beautiful, blond haired Marilyn Monroe, Tiger Woods is condemned to hell for being a swine and sleeping with white women.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods feels genocide plot
Nazi sympathizers attack Tiger Woods fearing he would have more mulato children with scandalous women.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods protects his rights as a father
Tiger Woods secretly had 34 children of his very own, with European surrogates who posses a high I.Q., in the event his wife gets a divorce and moves out with the kids.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods saves himself from financial ruins
Tiger Woods secretly hide 23 million dollars to prevent his wife from leaving him broke in the event of a divorce.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods saves himself from prison
Tiger Woods protected himself from false charges by secretly video taping his sexual encounters with people.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Male politicians admit their gay
Hundreds of male politicians admit their gay because they like putting men into prison without women so homosexual activity can occur.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods hits it big
Millions of male consumers say they admire Tiger Woods because of the sex appeal he has with so many women
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Madonna is a protective mother
Madonna refuses an offer from desperate lesbian Jenny Shimizu to do a kissing duet with Lordes on a music video, which Shimizu claims will be her big break in Hollywood.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Tiger Woods gets another new endorsement
BUART'S BEES cologne for men is to hire Tiger Woods for advertisement because of his masculine appeal due to the amount of women he attracted.
written by howy, 15 December 2009
Explosion at an Aquarium in Norfolk
An explosion occurred today at Sea Life Aquarium, Norfolk when a terrapin was given 10 brussels sprouts for Christmas. The unfortunate reptile was treated for shell-shock.
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2009
Iranians Outcry over Chinese Barbie Fakes
Thousands of Iranians are up in arms as shipments of Burka - clad Barbie dolls arrived in Teheran for the Christmas market. The dolls turned out to be one-legged action men with moving eyes.
written by IN SEINE, 15 December 2009
"Boring Around Here All Year"
As NHS faces cuts, health bosses defend spending £3,500 on office Christmas tree, stripper Santa's helper.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Where's This Dad, Person?
Almost half of all fathers don't get home until their children are in bed. Several beginning to think he's another Santa Claus.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"No! No! NOW Eat It! Good Boy"
Headteacher rapped for keeping a box of Kit-Kats to reward well-behaved pupils. Had to balance it on their nose first.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"I Done Messed Up Bad"
Jail for the blundering bank robber who used his own BMW with personalised number plate to set up £100,000 raid, note to teller on back of business card.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Family Comes First
'Family comes first,' claimed Tiger Woods in last interview before infidelity scandal broke. 'I was referring to golf!'
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Yob Yanking YoYo
Yob who yanked off Muslim woman's headscarf ordered to pay her £1,000 compensation. Pulls off pants in court and moon judge! "Scarf This!"
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Most Didn't Realize It
Obama before Women's Group: "We are in Afghanistan because of the unfair treatment of women!"
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Porn Crack Down!
More than 3,000 detained in porn crack down. Sorry, that should be, "crackdown".
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Matsui, Angels Deal
AP source: Matsui, Angels reach preliminary deal. Angels agree to give him another great contract, harp.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
EU Gives Tips
EU gives tips to plane, train passengers. Oldster says he can remember the days when passengers gave the tips to porters.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
New Animated Award!
Golden Globe animated film nominations announced by Daffy Duck. Whole front row spit all over.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"Jelly! It's A Hit!" On Soundtrack
Polanski film about the benefits of KY-jelly to debut at Berlin festival.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Living Longer
New study shows that looking young may mean living longer. Some carefully made-up 80-year-olds up to six and a half feet long.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Court Investigating Employer Access Of Messages
Court to review employer access to worker messages, rude drawings of their bosses and their wives.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Wall Street Drops
Both Trader's jaws and stocks drop after the latest inflation data.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
US Policy In Afghanistan
Biden: US policy is to advance Afghan stability, ten feet at a time!
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"Told Ya!!"
Schools close as heavy rains drench the South. Al Gore running around inside the house like Igor.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Italian PM Attacker Nuts
Berlusconi attacker may be sent to psych unit. Claims he's Caesar SpongeBob.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Arab Women Poorly Treated
Harassment across Arab world drives women inside, locking door behind them.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
November Inflation Up!
November wholesale inflation up more than expected as average Joe up one full pound. Experts blame giblet gravy.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Attack Of The Killer Blinds
50 million blinds recalled as strangulation hazard. Apparently they creep around the room once you're asleep at night.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Sponsors Being More Cautious
Tiger Inc.'s image crash to make sponsors cautious as several also drop Mike Tyson.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Teen Pot Use Up!
Study: Decade drop in teen pot use stalls...especially in school bathroom dividers.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Gore: Rough Days Ahead!
Gore: Polar ice may vanish in 5-7 years, millions die from spontaneous combustion.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
After Obama Speech!
Citigroup, Wells Fargo repay government bailout funds. Tell President to stuff it!
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Big Aussie Find!
Aussie scientists find coconut-carrying octopus, weird-talking little sponge that wears pants.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Blair to appear on UK's Got Talent
Ex UK Prime Minister Tony Blair has refused to comment on rumours that he has just auditioned for the new series of Britain's Got Talent. Its believed that he performed "War(What is it good for?)".
written by whatinthe world, 15 December 2009
Bush E-Mails Found
22 million missing Bush White House e-mails found after 1,000 computer experts Obama had working night and day stumble across them.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Chief Decries Farting Around!
UN chief: Time to stop climate finger-pointing, leg and finger-pulling and getting down to business.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Still Another Obama Solution!
Obama touting amazing home energy efficiency program. "68 degrees this winter, folks, 68 degrees!"
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Whoa To Airlines!
Costly fuel means more woe, whoa! for airlines according to report.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Attacker Apologizes
Berlusconi attacker apologizes for "cowardly" act after two nights at secret terrorist prison.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
"I Don't Want To Be Stacked Up Naked"
Back from combat, women struggle for acceptance by young men, scared to death of them after early prison pics.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Wealthy Octopi Show Off
Australian scientists have discovered an octopus in Indonesia that collects coconut shells for shelter, display of wealth to other octopi.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Hug Iceberg Breaking Apart,
Monster' iceberg shedding hundreds of offshoots. Any modern Titanics, actors, Somali pirates told to keep their distance.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Town Getting Detainees
AP sources: Ill. prison to get Gitmo detainees. Town's citizens to celebrate by moving away as fast as possible.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Acion On Climate, Reaction
Poll: Action on climate will heat up economy, jobs, which may cause more global warming.
written by Bureau, 15 December 2009
Festivus For The Rest of Us
Hard times? Fifty nine percent of those asked say they'll spend less on Festivus this year. Most will go with plain aluminum pole, no decorations.
written by Adam Click, 15 December 2009
Tiger's Mistresses All Agree On one Thing..........
He's Grrrrrrrrrrreat!!!
written by OIF2Sniper, 15 December 2009
British Airways to spend 12 Days of Christmas in the old fashioned way:
striking.
written by Tcoah, 15 December 2009
Something Rotten in Denmark
Global warming fanatics in Copenhagen Denmark have escaladed to burning cars vice breaking windows. I guess they realize that hot burning gases have absolutely nothing to do with climate change!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
Al Gore has a bad Memory
Al Gore said in Copenhagen Denmark "the polar ice cap will be gone in 5 to 7 years." A reporter noted Mr. Gore made the same statement five years ago too!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
There Ain't No Justice Hon
Baltimore MD residents are required to pay for repairing the city owned sidewalks in front of their houses. The mayor closes fire houses, but takes an $8000 vacation paid for by the taxpayers.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
AHOLES Form New Political Party
Association of Hellishly Obnoxious Liberal Elitist Snobs (AHOLES) has formed a political party. They believe in total government control of all aspects of a person's life and unlimited tax & spending.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
Democrats to Hold 2012 Convention at Disney World
2012 Democratic presidential nominating convention is to be held at Disney World FL. Specifically, Fantasyland located on the extreme left side of the park, based on the dream world liberals inhabit
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
First Aid Needed
It really is a health care bill, as Senate Majority Leader Reid keeps applying band aids to try to stop the bleeding of Democratic votes.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
Odds on Favorite
The odds makers in Las Vegas NV indicate Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has a 3 to 1 chance of being offered a job as a pit boss, starting in January 2011.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
Government Bureaucracy Power Grab
The EPA wants the Clean Water Act to apply to all surface water, not just navigable waterways. "Hello, I'm from the EPA to inspect Fido's water dish for Arsenic." Sic him Fido!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
Begatting Be Gone
A famous philandering politician had a brain transplanted into his head from a Giant Panda in order to mate with a female Giant Panda. It turns out the donor was Gay!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 15 December 2009
