When Harry Gusset was married today in Hull, England to his pregnant girlfriend, Sharon, little did anyone realise that his father-in-law had threatened to blow his tadger away with a 12-bore shotgun. In a contemplative mood, Harry said "It was just one of those wife or death situations!"
Mandela to be jailed again
London police caught Nelson Mandela doing 90 in Hyde Park today. He is expected to face another jail term, if found guilty.
Robert Mugabe Not caught red-handed!
Following the elections in Zimbabwe today, ZANU PF milita are going to beat anyone who did not vote. They are identified because they have hands that are not dyed with red ink. Although Robert Mugabe did vote, he had NO red dye on his hands and therefore beat himself up in front of TV cameras.