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Pizza Causes Hemorrhoids

Pizzas, especially those with mixed meats, are causing a World epidemic of severe hemorrhoids. With every third patient, a digital check of the rectum has resulted in extraction of a full slice of pepperoni. Pizza makers are referring to these reports as coming from 'asshole MDs'.

written by Natowsky, 09 February 2008
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Guantanamo 'Holiday Inn Express' Revamps Image

(Guantanamo Bay Navy Base, Cuba) Staff at infamous 'Camp 7' put finishing touches on sign:"Welcome Platinum Club al-Qaeda Members". Defense lawyers turn down complimentary continental breakfast.

written by SpaceElevator, 09 February 2008
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Sucking on Toy Actual Cause of Ledger Death

News sources close to the NYC Coroner's office claim the actual cause of Heath Ledger's death was from continued sucking on a child's toy made in China coated in lead-paint. It was first apparent when technicians kept dropping the body due to the heavy metal content.

written by Natowsky, 09 February 2008
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