Scientists working in the famous Einstein Laboratory in New York have found that the end of the world is in sight.
'We have been studying various signs of world deterioration and find convincing evidence that - in the words of the poet - the end is nigh' said a worried Professor of Physics.
Placard carrying monks outside the Laboratory held up hastily prepared slogans.
'Time Gentlemen Please' was one announcement. 'I told you so' was another.
But sceptics have emerged who are questioning the validity of the scientific claims. 'I have been reading Revelations for many years' said a prominent theologian Dan Brown 'and I think the message conveyed by the scientists is a trick to make us unhappy. The codes in Revelations clearly show that although the end of the world will come about in the fullness of time, time is not yet full.'
Many minds were put at rest by Tony Blair, famed for his ability to see into the future. He thought the scientists had got it right and that the evidence was overwhelming.
'If you want a UN resolution on this then you may be disappointed' said Blair 'it is better to make a mistake than to think clearly to no avail.'
So, your guess is as good as mine. Betting on the date of the end of the world is giving tempting odds on the end being in 2011. The lucky ones who put their money on the end of the world happening next year can expect extraordinary winnings.
