Rogue Astronomer Claims Mirror Effect Makes Universe Appear Infinite

Funny story written by Charpa93

Wednesday, 25 August 2010

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Danish Astronomer Olaf Spokking claims that the universe is not only not made up of millions of stars but that in reality, there are only about two or three other solar systems in the whole of space. Spokking believes that the mirror effect is responsible for making it appear that there are more stars and planets in the universe than there really are.

"Giant naturally-formed mirrors located on various planes in space are aimed at the earth," says Spokking. "When several mirrors are aimed at one another, it makes everything appear to be infinite, just like a person standing in front of a mirror holding a mirror causes the mirrors to reflect off each other to infinity."

Spokking has published his findings in the Astronomer Monthly Journal, but as an ad in the back of the journal instead of an actual scientific article. Astronomers the world over have been asked if they believe Spokking's theory, and every one of them have said that Spokking is an idiot. Spokking, however, claims that he is not selling any theory, he's selling mirrors.

"If those geniuses would just realize that my article was placed under the classified section of the Journal, they'd realize that the name of my company is Spokking Mirrors and Glass, and that we are in the business of making lenses for telescopes," said Spokking. I am not, nor have I ever been an astronomer. The ad was a lighthearted attempt to take advantage of the fact that astronomers are so excited about just how large the universe really is. Evidently, the reporter of this story doesn't make it a habit of checking his sources before writing wild claims."

Meanwhile, the reporter stands behind his story that space is not filled with millions of stars.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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