Car Shoes take Australia by Storm

Written by Lance.D.Boyle

Monday, 29 August 2005

image for Car Shoes take Australia by Storm
Ima Tinkerer's latest invention.

AUSTRALIA - The latest invention from down under has just rolled off the production line! Car shoes, yes you read right.
And Car Shoes are proving to be more than just a ‘fad'. The shoes developed by Australian inventor Ima Tinkerer has suddenly become big business. According to Ima the shoes can get up to sixty kilometres per litre on unleaded fuel and reach an astounding 300k.p.h in 12 seconds.

Ima says he was inspired by a 70's television show called ‘The Roller game' where the participants went round and round a velodrome type track and belted the cr*p out of each other. Ima hopes his version will revive the game.

Meanwhile on the ‘mean' streets, police have taken to the shoes in a big way. Highway Patrol Officer Joe Porcine believes that with the ‘souped' up version ,which are powered by Turbo charged V8's (the standard car shoes are only V6's) are capable of 380k.p.h in 9 seconds , police and highway patrolmen will be able to respond to calls so much quicker.

The police version will come with a rack of flashing strobe lights and twin sirens fitted to a black and white helmet, each side of the helmet will carry a megaphone system, and video camera.
The officer will carry on his back an adult version of the papoose, to enable the officer to apprehend criminals and transport them to custody. Fire-fighters are looking into a similar version but are having difficulty in finding a suitable space for their hoses.

Colonel John.T.Magnablaster 1st Battalion Transport Division claims a military version is also in its research and development stage .These ‘all terrain' car shoes will have twin diesels and .50 cal electric guns mounted to steel capped hiking type boots. These models will come in camouflage colours, again a utility helmet fitted with laser guided rockets and a GPS navigation /video system.

A female version has been released in high heels with diamante headlights in a range of colours. This is the sporty V4 engine with double overhead cams and all models are fuel injected.

Already local shoe enthusiasts are buying up the items in record amounts and sales are soaring.

Ima is now working on his newest product ‘flight gloves'.
The gloves will enable humans to flap their arms at a far greater rate than ‘normal' and attain altitude and horizontal flight hence the name ‘hummingbirds'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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