Sony Announces New Faith Based Game Station

Funny story written by Super-fan

Wednesday, 12 October 2005

Wednesday- Sony announced faith based game station for next generation consoles to be released next year. It will work on a faith based engine, using special microphones to actually "feel" the belief of game players everywhere. "This may be the end of science," Says one Sony executive who has often spoken for the company in the name of God. "If we get this out on the streets we will have parental support, happy gamers, and will set precedent. We could replace all the evil processor designers, they'll be stuck in hell with the fire and brimstone anyway, with holy support priests so we don't leave G-d's ears for a minute."
Many people are afraid of the changes. "This could open the way to faith based initiatives, religion in schools, unfair online and multiplayer advantages hurting atheists. "Sony may find itself losing a chunk of the gaming community come next year" Says one disturbed analyst.
Producers EA and CAPCOM are welcoming the change with new editions of cheer controlled boosts in EA's sports series and Capcom's possible new Devil may cry game. In the next Madden, Players will have to cheer on their teams using the built in microphone in the new system. The system may include hand sensors, used to feel the heat and intensity of these new games.
Recently, Sony has been backed by the church, a partnership which may have sparked this new system. Accordingly, Nintendo had this to say about the announcement of the new system. "Gamers do not want faith based games, and they will not fall to this ploy. We will continue to release childish, non-violent games that we are positive gamers want." Microsoft announced some computer related gimmick to be included in their system when it is released late 2005.
Although this isn't expected to be released until late 2006, Sony is already planning games for it. Along with it's strong 3rd party support, it is also expected to release "Good God" and "Death to the non-believers." Although these games may be too violent, they will portray an exciting way to build faith and get the religious support behind video games. So far, none are complaining.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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