In an astounding new report a group of scientists from the University of Stoned California have announced that you genuinely are as young as you feel.
Following on from other research not even remotely related to greenhouse gasses or melting icecaps it can now be revealed that after an in-depth study your physical and mental age does indeed reflect how you feel - and also who.
After interviewing a conclusive sample of almost a whole bar-full of people scientists have come up with the following surprising statistics
Men in their 40's tend to cop a feel with females between the ages of 18 and 25
Middle aged women usually feel up men in their similar age group but have expressed a preference for young hunky men around 22
Young Hunky men around 22 tend to cop a feel with other Young Hunky Men around 22
Average males between 25 and 40 feel whatever they can find so long as it has a pulse
Young people between the ages of 14 and 18 tend to stay indoors and feel themselves
There are some unusual gaps in this research though. The team dispatched to observe what young lesbian couples prefer to feel has yet to return and deliver its findings
Their only contact was a garbled message involving "Send more tissues....."
Scientists of course don't get out much.......
