Casio sick of their calculators being used for smut

Funny story written by Seb 'ODriscoll

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

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The end of calculators as we know them?

Japanese electronic giants Casio say they will cease manufacturing calculators unless users stop using them to spell out lewd words such as 'BOOBS' and "BOOBLESS". Since the inception of LCD screened electronic calculator in the 1970's, schoolboys around the world have misused them for smutty shenanigans rather than as mathematical aids.

Incoming Casio President Simozo Sinzoki said, "This irks me greatly, now that I am President, things will change. I have spend over $50 million in the first quarter trying to create calculators where upside down 8's no longer look like B's, 7's like L's , 3's like E's and most of all 0's like O's."

"We must remove the tools of childish smut at all cost so young people can know the true joy of basic calculations. If I fail, then we will have to discontinue our range calculators and find something else to do long division with", he concluded.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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