London - (Blackshirts): Hemlock champagne and humble pie is on the menu for the mastermind on Monday's 25th anniversary of the bombing of the Tory Party conference.
"Soon as she's croaked it it's off to a Westminster Council landfill site," a royal insider confided.
The preposterous Mrs Joseph Ratzinger - to give her her full legal name - has been dodging various Met Police Euthanasia units ever since her DNA was found on the remains of Brighton's Grand Hotel.
Fortunately a recent pacemaker upgrade was left on hold when doctors noticed she was about to order Iranian President Ahmadinejad to nuke Tel Aviv.
A subcutaneous anti-psychotic implant injected by shrinks at the Royal Freak Hospital in 2007 has leaked all its depleted uranium cocktail into her gluteus maximus.
Kate Middleton's twins are expected next March.
