The modern phenomenon of anal erections is on the increase according to top scientist at a university. It is just one more side effect of genetic modification in our food that we shall all have to learn to live with.
Another scientist in another university who also has no real scientific work to do told us the matter is not as bad as being reported by the scaremongering media.
"Look at what they said about the tickly cough, all those horrific figures bandied about and a spoon of Tixylix solved the problem. So what if we do have arses popping out of their shells. Is it so bad or just health and safety gone mad?" He ranted over a frothing test tube.
One silver lining of anal erections is the huge increase in anal condoms. A spokeperson for BrownDoms told us their arsehole line of latex protectors has increased by 1000% in the past 3 months. "Which is like 2000% better than 3 months ago or something." The moron added.
If you are worried about contracting anal erections, or indeed want to know how to pop the little brown sock for your own pleasure call the arse-out hotline, but remember to use an anal condom or you may die a painful death and all your relatives will be ashamed at your funeral.
This article was written and paid for by BrownDom International, covering your shit like a buddy in a war zone.
