Apple break into broadcasting

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 14 August 2009

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The cobbles, Californian Style

It is a move that has been on the cards since Apple started prefixing all of their products with an 'i', and after protracted negotiations, Apple have finally acquired their own television broadcaster in the UK, the beleaguered iTV.

Part of the Apple remit in their new status as a broadcaster is to take the existing programmes and give them less content but more style to balance the books.

ITV's showcase show, Coronation Street is to be relocated to the San Fernando valley in California, where there will be less in the way of muggings, teenage pregnancies and extra marital affairs, and more of Deirdre Barlow and Emily Bishop in haute couture swanning around high class restaurants. Other popular ITV programmes The Bill and Emerdale will also receive glossy makeovers, with the Bill becoming CSI: UK and Emerdale becoming a Emerdallas.

Apple are said to be over the moon to finally be in broadcasting, and are promising a whole host of new interactive features with all programming for those with access to an iPhone, iPod or iMac.

"Imagine being able to choose an alternate ending to Emerdallas," said Steve Jobs. "Or creating your own programme schedule using 'What AM I watching?', our new Applelet for the iPhone."

Michael Grade, head of ITV, is even more ecstatic with the move.
"I can finally get out of this hell-hole," he said. "I've got my eye on a small island near Jamaica with my pay off."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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