Aldrin Admits He Should Have Been First

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 16 July 2009

image for Aldrin Admits He Should Have Been First
Armstrong was the captain of the college football team

Buzz Aldrin has come clean and admitted that it should have been him that was first onto the moon.

Forty years ago, man first walked on the moon, and that man was Neil Armstrong. However, that's not the way it had been planned.

"On the trip up," Aldrin explained, "we played rock-paper-scissors to see who would be staying in the capsule and Michael [Collins] lost, so he got to watch us bouncing from orbit. Neil and I then played best of seven to see who would be first onto the surface, and I won in four straight games."

However, despite having the edge in terms of rock-paper-scissors, Armstrong had been practising his low-gravity tackling technique and when the pair landed, as Aldrin was heading for the door, Armstrong tackled him to the floor of the lunar module, hopped over him and out of the door before Aldrin could regain his feet in his bulky suit.

"I was livid," Aldrin admitted. "It should have been me. I had a great speech all lined up and everything, and I wouldn't have fluffed it like Neil did. I should have realised something was amiss, when Neil admitted to being captain of the college football team."

Aldrin revealed for the first time what he would have said.

"As my foot touched the surface, I was going to say: 'Wow...I can see my house from here."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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