Technological breakthrough - Thanks to Fiji

Funny story written by chris whewell

Monday, 9 February 2009

image for Technological breakthrough - Thanks to Fiji
The FMC Orator Defence Apparatus repels a crazed attacker (yesterday)

The recent world-wide spate of throwing ones shoe at a politician has worried security personnel from the halls of Whitehall to Tianeman Square and Capitol Hill.

Whether protesting about the current state of affairs in Iraq, Tibet or Gaza, bunging ones footwear about has become the Esperanto of insults, its meaning understood in all languages.

But, thanks to the braniacs and boffins at the Fijian Microelectronics Corporation, politicians will, once again be completely oblivious to the general publics views on world affairs.

Incorporating the latest in nano-technology, FMC scientists have created a laser-powered detector which is fitted to the rostrum, which constantly scans the air for 360 degrees around the speaker.

On detection of approaching footwear, a shock-proof perspex tubular screen will shoot up from a hidden recess in the floor. By twiddling with the knobs a bit, techies have reduced the detection/protection time to a mind-boggling 0.31 seconds.

After a successful demonstration, an FMC spokesman said, "This will show the world once again that Fiji is a world leader in Microelectronics.".

US State Department scientists have been inspecting the apparatus, amid rumours of the imminent downscaling of the Star Wars missile defence system project. A source, close to the movers and shakers said, "Gosh Darnit, If'n only we'da thunk of it first."

Shares in the Aerodynamic Shoe Corporation of Cairo have plummeted, resulting in widespread redundancies. Mr. Mustapha Kamir of 23 Pyramid Terrace, Cairo said, "Ee Bah Gum, now I've gone an' lost me job. And I'd just put t'bloody washin' out"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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