Tennessee University scientists have spent decades studying the squirrel for its nutritional value, its dexterity and its ability to stay thin.
The UT publishing house has squirreled away dozens of dollars for its subsequent squirrel cook books, exercise tapes and obesity conquering lifestyles. The reaearch involving the lab squirrel Jimmy has broken new ground.
Jimmy cracks corn in such a unique and subtle way that nobody seems to care. One scientific paper published in the Tennessee Troubadour attributed Jimmy's carefree corn cracking to the fact that the master was absent during most trials.
Others have disputed the master thesis with alternative expalnations about squirrel nonconformity and the evolutionary nature of rodent teeth and maize development.
