Professor of Telepathy Stabbed at Santa Fe Thought Transference Conference

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 5 April 2008

image for Professor of Telepathy Stabbed at Santa Fe Thought Transference Conference
Sheldrake was about to reveal the ID of the ultimate Congitive Grand Master of the universe

Santa Fe, New Mexico - (Psychic Mess): "Maybe he should have seen it coming!" That was the Santa Fe's police chief's considered opinion after the world's self-appointed top authority on morphic resonance Professor Rupert Sheldrake was stabbed in the back by a delegate at a New Mexico 'thought transference' conference this week.

And now Japanese delegate Hirano Kazuki has pleaded not guilty to the assault on the grounds that he was merely trying to debunk the paranormal hoaxer who has made such a cushy living pushing credulous mindcrap.

Sheldrake, 69, is a British expert on talking to plants.

His paranormal theories claim that a telepathetic (sic) matrix exists connecting higher human intellects in a group mind to the ultimate Cognitive Grand Master (CGM) of the universe, whose identity is known only to, er...himself.

Delegates were told this week that Sheldrake was about to reveal the identity of the CGM at the 10th International Symposium on Pseudo-Science and Unconsciousness in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

"That made the week's $10,000 conference fee seem such a snip," NASA's Dr V Hokum commented earlier following rumors that Sheldrake was about name him as the psychic grand master of the universe.

Sheldrake has been taken to the Emergency Room at Santa Fe Hospital and treated for minor lacerations.

His assailant is now filing a lawsuit alleging fraud and collusion with top international psychobabble pundits.

An update will follow this report.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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