Newly-famous pet psychic Beth Lee-Crowther has come forward to offer guidance on what just happened to cause Mr. Biden's foot injury. According to The Daily Beast, Ms. Lee-Crowther, from the English midlands, has established telepathic contact wit…
Manhattan, NY President Trump announced today that he caught the planet Venus spying on the United States and found out they were planning on invading the Earth, until they heard him talking about what he would do to aliens if he ever caught them in...
West Palm Beach, FL - A recent study conducted at golf tournaments on the PGA Tour and LPGA events has uncovered the disheartening fact that yelling at your golf ball during flight has absolutely no effect on how it behaves. "I just can't believe...
Since the SETI Institute's Mothballed the Allen Telescope Array which scans the universe for signs of life in outer space, many were happy that enough donations have come in to finance the Telescopes working. Among those giving to help bring in mo...
Cumbrians have been left with a mammoth clean up operation as The Mysterious Jelly returns, this time to the hills around Cumbria. "Two years ago," said lead scientist, Theo Rea, "we investigated the blobs that struck Scotland. At the time we had...
As the nation runs head-long into another round of vomit inducing sycophancy in the shape of the Royal Wedding, a legion of 'experts' emerge from the sewers beneath Fleet street to pontificate on the tedious ministrations of the royal entourage. Rather than relying on irrelevant details like 'facts', or actually 'knowing' the royal family, normally, said experts, are content to make stuff up and s...
Washington AC/DC - (X-Files Mess): Pentagon scientists have siphoned off synthetic telepathy technology from a retro-engineered mothercraft that was once stored in the top security Roswell hangar known as Area 51. The move marks a radical departur...
Day one - Dear Diary, Ahhhrrrrrrg.Lets get started. Start writing to me what I sense you because I do not know how to write. Although this is my diary, I will not be able to read it when you are done writing it either. That's right, I am illiterate, duh! You ever meet an ape that wasn't? I have never had a need for literacy til now, so although I appreciate your help with this, you'll have t...
Santa Fe, New Mexico - (Psychic Mess): "Maybe he should have seen it coming!" That was the Santa Fe's police chief's considered opinion after the world's self-appointed top authority on morphic resonance Professor Rupert Sheldra...
In a recent scientific study, researchers found that cats have the ability to communicate telepathically. The study, produced by Harvard Medical School, has brought on a lot of controversy.
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