Astronomers Discover Nothing in the Universe

Friday, 24 August 2007

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The universe

Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Astronomers have discovered nothing in an area of the universe one billion light years across. Many astronomers are puzzled by this large lack of anything but others are proposing theories as to what the nothing place is all about.

One theory is that the nothing place is where a large strip mall was built and then demolished. We have all seen this in our towns and cities. Perhaps the people who were going to build there ran out of money or just lost interest or maybe divorce raised its ugly head and interfered with well made plans.

Another theory is that the nothingness is actually the space between George Bush's ears. There are some doubts about this because there are some who think Bush knows perfectly well what he is up to.

The nothing could also be a sort of passage way to the elsewhere universe. It could also be an area where a sort of cosmic bowling ball came crashing through and mowed down all of the matter in its path. Similarly it could be an area that was sucked clean by a super-sized black hole or similar mechanism. It also might be the inside of the dot at the bottom of a very large exclamation point at the end of a cosmic sentence.

Hopefully whatever it was that caused or created the void is not very mobile or has gone elsewhere and will not be bothering the solar system within our lifetimes.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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