Space Station sex tourism fears mount amid zero gravity orgasm delight reports

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Saturday, 21 April 2007

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The ISS - just another cheap and tacky sex tourism hot spot?

Outer Space - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): The International Space Sation - ISS - may become just another cheap and tacky sex tourism hot spot following reports that zero gravity orgasms far outshine anything achievable on earth.

The news comes amid reports that the Hungaria-born billionaire space tourist Charles Simonyi who paid $25 million for his for his 10-day stay on the ISS has said that the pubic and vagus nerves 'behave differently' in zero gravity conditions.

Simonyi said that on his two-day journey to the ISS he felt relatively normal 'as if he was in a standard classy Park Avenue sauna on a Friday night.'

But when he stepped on board the space station Mr Simonyi said that a series of experiments including measuring the amount of testosterone he produced without the aid of hard-core magazines or porny videos really shocked him by the intensity of the experience.

The aim of his excursion was to help to generate an accurate picure of the station's potential as a holiday destination money spinner.

Mr Simonyi began training for the flight six months ago at the Yuri Gagarin Hard Core wesbsite and at the Baikonur Cosmodrome's Madam Whiplash Steam Room & Sauna in Kazakhstan.

He underwent a gruelling physical programme, "including strict medical tests" to prepare him for the ride to escape the Earth's atmosphere and his body's natural physiological limitations during sex.

His $25 million trip was arranged by US-based Space Sex Adventures which has previously sent four private sex explorers to space.

In 2001 US citizen Dennis Tito paid $2 million and reported pleasing orgasmic results aboard the ISS.

Then in 2002 South African Mark Shuttleworth returned saying he had been 'relatively pleased' altough a minor infection had blunted some of his pleasures.

American Greg Olsen went up in 2005 and came down with a bump after acquiring a hernia following over-exertions in zero gravity conditions.

And in 2006 Iranian-born US businesswoman Anousheh Ansari said the experience brought on a sudden and unexpected heavy period after her hormones went into overdrive at the thought of all those Russian cosmanauts aboard the ISS who unfortunaely for her turned out to be mostly gay.

Lisa Nowak is 33.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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