Space Shuttle Lands Safely Despite Poorly Inflated Tires

Funny story written by President Bush

Saturday, 23 December 2006

image for Space Shuttle Lands Safely Despite Poorly Inflated Tires

Space Shuttle Discovery touched down safely after it's astronauts spent 13 days and over 1.5 billion of your tax dollars pretending to be Bob Villa in orbit. Even though the shuttle's rear tires had only 28 psi of pressure the shuttle coasted to a peaceful stop in Florida just inches away from plowing into a cow pattie field filled with cows, patties, crop circles and, more cow patties.

"THAT would have been a mess" Commander Polansky remarked. When asked why he didn't kick the shuttle's tires before LEAVING earth the commander replied,

"I DID. I DID kick all 6 tires. Something weird happened up there below the space station though that caused the tires to lose some pressure. We landed safely thank God because after touching down that cow pattie field was coming up on radar a bit too fast for my liking."

Firestone, supplier of the shuttle's tires says that plunging 380 miles from above the planet at 14,000 miles per hour on under inflated Firestone tires is not "generally recommended". John Lampe, CEO of Firestone said,

"Sure we had problems and lawsuits in the past where our tires blew up for no apparent reason but the space shuttle in future flights needs, no, HAS TO keep those tires inflated properly otherwise Firestone will have to absolve itself from all potentially explosive consequences occurring because some shuttle commander before leaving Earth forgot to kick the tires."

NASA administrator Michael Griffin assured Firestone that all future shuttle commanders would indeed not only "kick the tires" before launch but also go out there with one of those silver gages and visually check the pressure themselves even if it's raining or the wind is blustery.

"Keep them at 32 psi and you're good to go, Mars even" Firestone said adding,

"Now your SPARE (donut) tire back there in the cargo bay is a different story. We recommend not re-entering the earth's atmosphere and descending more than 2000 miles across the country with one of those spares. If that spare blows upon landing destroying the space craft don't talk to us, talk the hand and your shuttle commander. Firestone's in enough trouble as it is with those Camry explosions."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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