Memorial Service for Space Shuttle Discovery Crew Already Planned

Funny story written by President Bush

Thursday, 7 December 2006

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NASA, hours before launch has, according to inside sources already planned for the recovery, investigation and memorial service for all 7 members of the shuttle crew. "We believe that Discovery's going to blow, we just don't know how" one NASA flight engineer said.

NASA, after analyzing the administrative failures of FEMA during the Katrina disaster, has wisely chosen to proactively memorialize the shuttle crew BEFORE they even lift off.

"Space travel is risky business" writer Alex Davidson for Science and Technology magazine noted in his most recent cover story, "Discovery? Ka-BLOOIE or Ka-BLAM!"

Davidson went on to explain Ka-BLOOIE and Ka-BLAM in scientific terms saying, "Challenger went Ka-BLOOIE because it was going UP. Columbia on the other hand went Ka-BLAM because it was coming DOWN. We're not sure what Discovery might do .. we may have to invent a new scientific jargon word for it."

President Bush has already issued his heartfelt condolences to "The brave men and women in case they meet their demise attempting to measure how spiders spin funny webs while flying upside down in space."

Space Shuttle Columbia is expected to lift off at night .. in questionable weather .. with known technical difficulties .. commanded by a sleepy commander pumped full of No Doze and a shuttle covered with 500,000 pieces of NEW foam - any one of which if it came loose, could send the shuttle plunging at 18,000 miles per hour into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

"How about Ka-SPLASH!" writer Alex Davidson asked reporters earlier today before rushing back to his office to work on his "Discovery, A Tribute to our Fallen Comrades" exclusive may be due out soon.

But hopefully not.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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