New app delivers 50 volt 'haptic nudge' shock to attorney's Apple Watch each time defendant lies under oath

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 19 April 2015

image for New app delivers 50 volt 'haptic nudge' shock to attorney's Apple Watch each time defendant lies under oath
50 volt haptic nudge for each act of perjury

New York - It's a ground breaking development in attorney-client privilege skirting perilously close around Fifth Amendment frights.

The just-launched Polygraph App is designed to help uphold the rule of law in the courtroom where clients sometimes brazen it out against best legal advice.

It works by interfacing a lawyer's Apple Watch with a simple cyber truth detector that the client/defendant activates through their sweat.

At the first hint of perjury it's the lawyer who gets the message as a 50 volt haptic nudge charge snaps his wrist.

CyberLaw Electronics which launched the App this morning says they conducted months of painstaking secret trials around the courtrooms of Manhattan to precision-hone their Polygraph App.

Next week it will be ready to debut in major criminal lawsuits where it's billed to revolutionise the way lawyers earn their crust.

Commenting on the App's launch someone who knows Chevron's ace lawyer Randy Mastro suggested Ecuador's racketeering NYC attorney Steven Donziger's personal attorney be made to install it on his own Apple Watch.

The Chevron appeal starts on Monday with judges likely laughing out of court the Donziger falllacy that his RICO conviction is intself a tort.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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