New Computer Sneezing Virus Resistant To All Antibiotics

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Sunday, 27 July 2014

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New virus

Computer Software Recovery companies have advised anyone whose computer sneezes repeatedly on switching on, to put it in a warm bed with a hot water bottle and make it drink plenty of fluids. In all probability it has contracted a new form of virus which has become resistant to anti virus software.

Anti-virus software has been too widely prescribed and viruses are now completely resistant to it. If the computer does not get better in 7 to 10 days or the sneezing gets a lot worse, or a hacking cough develops, the advice from Computer Primary Care Centres is to call the doctor, but do not take it down to the already overloaded A & E departments.

The new virus is a severe acute viral illness often characterized by the sudden onset of fever in the computer, intense weakness, pain, a flickering display and sore loudspeakers. This is followed by vomiting out of Dvd players, diarrhoea, rashes on the keyboard, impaired hard drive function, and in some cases, both internal and external fan failures. Workshop findings include low screen resolution and squeaky music playback.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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