Heartbleed Issue affects the Spoof

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

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I didn't write this!

The Heartbleed Security Issue has been identified as a problem on the popular spoof news website, The Spoof.

The issue with the Heatbleed Security Issue is that the encryption used to protect passwords across two thirds of the world's password protected websites has a security flaw that allows potential hackers to gain access to the usernames and passwords of anybody that uses those sites.

"Mum's Net was hacked using this vulnerability," said Norton McAffee, head of AVG Security systems. "It allowed the malicious individuals to post a message indicating the website owner wasn't a mum, and was in fact a seventy-year old Nigerian called Kenneth."

Many of the big sites, like YouTube, Flickr, Google Mail and Amazon have all been identified as possible threats, although they have all since been patched to no longer have the security flaw, although the passwords may have been stolen prior to the patch.

"It's a good idea to change your password on these kinds of sites," said McAffee. "Just to be on the safe side. In fact, it's generally a good idea to have different passwords for every site."

Although people might think that the worst that could happen is a hacker uploads a video pretending to be them on YouTube, if their password to the Video site is the same as their bank - they could be in serious trouble.

"Worrying ones like Amazon sending out trampolines and body building whey powder to nefarious criminals is bad enough," said McAffee, "but having your identity stolen because you use Passw0rd-124 on every site is even more horrifying to contemplate, and the easiest thing to prevent."

AVG Security are suggesting that instead of memorising two hundred passwords for all the sites they're registered on, they have a pattern.

"My pattern for instance," said McAffee, "is the name of the website, a dash, my wife's birthday followed by PWD in capitals. So flikr-05021954PWD for example. I don't have to remember a billion passwords, but they're all different, and I can work them out easily."

Since making this announcement, McAffee's bank account has since been hacked and all his money given to a charity for the stupid.

The Spoof itself also has the Heartbleed Security Issue, but so far, all that's happened is that several slightly more amusing spoofs than normal have been posted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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