Astronomers Say Orion's Belt On Last Hole--Obesity Epidemic Blamed

Funny story written by Ducksley

Friday, 1 February 2013

Orion's Belt, part of the constellation Orion, has expanded to the point that it's down to its final belt hole, a renowned scientist said today.

Dr. Huang O'Flaherty, addressing the International Astronomical Union, told attendees, "Good morning. Thank you for coming." After that, he went on to say, "Orion's Belt has expanded to the point that there is no more room. The stars are bulging out over the belt and there aren't any more holes."

Astrophysicists claim the epidemic of obesity is to blame for the deformation of the cluster of stars. "There's little mankind can do," O'Flaherty explained. "It's not like we can use an ice pick to make another hole in the belt," he said.

O'Flaherty emphasized that Orion's Belt is not the only object in the sky that has grown fatter. "Have you seen the Big Dipper lately? It looks more like a saucepan."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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