Modern Day Nikola Tesla Invents Infinite Power Source

Monday, 24 September 2012

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Infinite Power Source Device

Rockville MD: Nikola Tesla working in his garage at night has invented an infinite power source, potentially making the USA energy independent. Mr. Tesla planned to patent the device and give all rights to his adopted country.

An application for a patent was subsequently filed with the US Patent Office for a device that generates large quantities of energy with no air or water pollution, not dangerous to people or animals and is relatively inexpensive to build. The patent clerk indicated that the patent process (bureaucratic red tape) could take as long as eight years and the device could be counterfeited in a much shorter time.

The patent clerk also suggested that Mr. Tesla have his lawyers contact the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), Occupational Hazard and Safety Agency (OSHA), Department of Energy (DOE), Department of the Interior (DOI) and Department of Defense (DOD). Any real or imagined environmental, safety, on-going research, endangered species and defense issues could be caught early. He also cautioned about activist environmental and animal rights groups looking for a cause!

Additionally, the patent clerk told Mr. Tesla to call the White House as he might have something President Obama is currently looking for. A message was left on the president's email, as the president is out campaigning somewhere.

Mr. Tesla then called various American technology and energy corporations, labor unions and the media about his newest invention. The corporations were not interested in an interview because Mr. Tesla had never received a formal college or university technical degree, although he had studied engineering in Europe. The labor unions were afraid of losing jobs to the new energy device. The media scoffed because Mr. Tesla was not a Harvard or Columbia University Law School graduate.

Mr. Tesla has speculated about whether the Chinese would be interested in cutting a deal before they pirate his invention. Meanwhile the Town of Rockville MD has fined Mr. Tesla for conducting experiments in his garage without a permit.

Authors Note:
Nikola Tesla (1856 - 1943) was an American inventor, physicist, mechanical and electrical engineer. (He was a Serbian, born in the Austrian Empire.) He is known for his technical contributions to alternating current (AC) electrical transmission. Mr. Tesla's patents and theoretical work helped form the basis of wireless communication/radio and he is also known for his high-voltage, high-frequency electrical transmission experiments.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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