Twits Establish Social Network

Funny story written by Jason Bourne

Monday, 31 October 2011


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Twits everywhere are twittering at each other

A social network for Twits has become one of the most visited sites on the internet.

Twitter is an online social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read text-based posts of up to 140 characters, according to Wikipedia.

Twits call these posts Tweets, because they should be called twitters.


Twitter was founded by Jack Dorsey in 2006. "We came across the word 'twitter', and it was just perfect. The definition was 'a short burst of inconsequential information,' and 'chirps from birds'. And that's exactly what the product was,' he said.

He was a Twit.

Having founded a website for inconsequential information, it wasn't long before all the world's twits joined Dorsey in endless twittering.

200 million twits are now assembled on the site.

Ashton Kutcher - Top Twit

The biggest twit of all is Ashton Kutcher, according to Twitter.

One of the first celebrities to come out as a twit, Kutcher has millions of twits following his endless twittering.

As you'd expect of a twit, Kutcher is very pleased.


But now a competitor has begun to threaten Twitter.

Twatter was begun last year. The social network for twats is experiencing robust growth. But Twitter is threatening legal action, accusing the twats of stealing Twitter's idea.

'Ultimately we're not concerned' said Dorsey, Twitter's CEO. The company believe there will always be more twits in the world than twats, and that will keep them ahead of the race.

Members of Twatter say they want Twitter to get twatted.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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