Well after all of the drama and action in Russia it was obvious they were not behind the poisoning of spies in the UK so Boris Becker mad a bee-line to the Nutters Beach Club and asked to be our global diplomat so he doesn't get 'knobbed' for paying back his tax debts all over the planet!
We of course agreed and the first thing Boris did was head to our broom cupboard for a 'quickie' with Volga Olga, who would do anything for a bit of diplomatic head-jobbing!
Boris's hair was standing on end after he re-appeared and is now immune from paying tax anywhere on the planet because he is our "VIP Roaming Nutters Club Diplomat" and fuck the Inland Revenue!
WAN-KIN-DIK prepared Boris a special send off dinner, Mexican beans dosed in Sauerkraut with Chinese very hot spices, and he farted all the way to the exit singing, "Schade Deutschland alles ist vorbei!" with Volga Olga begging for more in our broom cupboard; he refused because he had a date with a Brazilian beauty, Neymar's ex, in a broom cupboard in Moscow!
So Nutters United, no footy news today, it's boring, but when England win the World Cup we will hold a 'Special Nutters Brexit UK Bash' right here. The only problem is, you'll have to de-mummify me in 2000 years!
Adios amigos et amigas locos!