The Cast Against The Media- Part 4: Radio

Funny story written by Dick Sheerer

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

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What was once hailed as revolutionary communication innovation became nothing but a nuisance. Radio seemed like a good idea at the time but later it proved to be a dangerous device in the hands of the wrong people-and it seems like only the wrong people use it. Deadly radio waves permiate the atmosphere wreaking unseen havoc everywhere.

Music- Radio music programming was once a huge cash cow for stations and record labels. They had a cozy relationship that was a mockery to the art of music, and creative musicians. Then the Internet happened and the rules changed, but radio music is still the same kitsch.

Music programming is so bad that listeners turn to talk radio to escape the noise. Big mouth talk show hosts made talk radio a popular phenomenon. Stirring up trouble, fanning the flames of fear, and instigating angry arguments, creating controversies, and otherwise rabble-rousing, these DJs are more like carnival barkers. Loved and hated, and very opinionated, their influence is detrimental to society, and each of them should have their mouth sutchered shut permanently for the good of humanity. Radio is the broadcast equivalent of the rodeo. Instead of a cowboy jockey on a bull, radio has a dick jockey with a different kind of bull. The rodeo bull drops turds and the radio bull talks words, but there's not much difference overall.

Traffic & Weather- Traffic and weather reports are written and produced according to the activity schedule of the station's senior staff members. If it's gong to be sunny on the weekend, producer's tell the weatherman to report that it's going to rain, because the producer wants to keep you off the golf course so he and his buddies can play on uncrowded fairways.

Radio executives also exert their personal control over traffic conditions. If they need to navigate a particular route at any given time, they just tell the traffic anchor to report a gridlock condition there so motorists will avoid that area, and the roadway will be clear for the boss. The first media player was the radio. When it was invented people were stupefied with such an advanced technology that transmits sound wirelessly-on invisible rays-from one location to another. Their dazed state caused them to be distracted from the hidden dangers. They were literally dumbfounded by the death beams.

The contamination of the airwaves started with this demonic contraption. The lethal frequencies negatively effect all living things on earth and beyond. The electromagnetic rays blanket the globe inundating every inch of the atmosphere, extending from the core of the earth into the far reaches of outer space where extra-terrestrial beings monitor the chatter and plan their attack accordingly. And that's only one of the dangers facing humanity because of radio.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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