Gun-Nut Confession Sheds Light on These Sad Defective Men

Funny story written by dave nelson

Sunday, 18 January 2015


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I have a locker full of guns and ammo. I spend hours every week cleaning my beautiful weapons and reading about guns and ammo. I spend hours at the range shooting and in the woods shooting stuff and then in the bar talking with my gun nut buddies and on line telling gun control folks to fuck off.

At night, I just love to look and fondle my guns and when I am in bed I dream about using them to kill bad guys, to be a hero, to do something powerful and worthwhile.

My job kinda sucks and my sex life sucks and I just feel the one thing thing I have is my guns and the thought that I am doing something powerful and meaningful, stopping the government and the bad asses. But now, I am thinking what does that really mean. I mean, that is so fucking stupid. The government is made up of working folks, the whole army is guys like me.

Hell, no one is gonna come up in my face. If they do, one gun would be enough. I mean, it's not like there is gonna be an assault on my house, I mean that is just crazy. Like I said, it's all about us gun nuts just wanting to be respected and feel like we are real men doing something worthy and not just being nobodies going nowhere and hating all those fucking dudes who made something out of their lives and have respect and good times and rewarding jobs and security.

And holy shit, all we really do is support the NRA and help them stop controls which I know are so needed in my heart. I mean, the whole country is submerged in this gun sickness and it allows not only crime but abuses by all kind of sick people, not just off-the-wall mentals, but just folks in emotional stress who don't belong anywhere near a gun: wife beaters, suicide thinkers and kids.

There is no way the government can control trafficking with the amount of transactions and trading going on everyday involving millions of uncontrolled gun sales and with all the semi sicko lost gun nuts like me.

  And when I think of all the time I could be spending (and money) on positive things if I could just beat this gun obsession and low self esteem, I'm gonna try, I really am gonna try hard.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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