Ask A Sheepherder, They Never Lie...

Written by Wumf

Saturday, 8 February 2014

image for Ask A Sheepherder, They Never Lie...
A Sheepherder's Life

Question: How much money does a sheepherder make?

Answer: Just enough to buy oil for my oil burning lantern and a sack of flour for making biscuits.

Question: Why sheep?

Answer: Why not?

Question: How do you stand the loneliness?

Answer: I serenade the sheep with my squeeze box, which attracts coyotes that howl along. I'm never lonely in the wild.

Question: Which is smarter - a cow or a sheep?

Answer: Neither.

Question: How did you become a sheepherder?

Answer: Needed a job.

Question: Would you recommend this profession to young adults looking for a job?

Answer: Nope. No cell phone reception out here.

Question: How far away are you from the nearest town?

Answer: About 4,500 miles.

Question: What happens if you get sick?

Answer: Not much.

Question: What happens if wolves tries to eat your sheep?

Answer: Their tails, or what is left of their tails, end up on a cord hanging outside my sheepherder wagon.

Question: Do you have a wife?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Where does she live?

Answer: In the nearest town.

Question: What words of wisdom do you have for the readers?

Answer: Try a campfire, the stars, and a little night music.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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