Following is the top ten Christmas stories that you must never read to your kids. We don't know why they haven't been recalled.
1. Rudolf The Red-Headed Stepchild
2. Jolly Old Salmonella (Hole,Hole,Hole!)
3, The Gift of the Magpies
4. Hard Egg Nog & Babe Ruths Floating in the Punch Bowl
5. The Nutcracker & The Kick Boxer
6. The Christmas Grandpa Was Taken Away Peeing on Himself
7. Jack Frostbite & The Night the Heat Went Out
8. Hog Nuts Roasting On An Open Fire
9. The Elvis & The Blue Suede Shoemaker
10. I Saw Mama All Over Santa Claus Under The Mistletoe
