When lips flip 90 degrees

Funny story written by walter

Saturday, 14 September 2013


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When we conclude that event 'A' caused event 'B', simply because the proposed cause occurred before the proposed effect, this mentality, in Latin, is called: 'Post hoc ergo propter hoc', meaning 'after this, therefore because of this'. And it is one of the several logical fallacies.

This process of the mind may get confused with Conspiracy Theories, displeasing authorities. Recent examples of these theories are: the assassination of John F. Kennedy, the unsuccessful attempts to assassinate, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, George H. W. Bush, and Saddam Hussein's living in Barbados, etc.

As schoolboys we were taught two methods: inductive and deductive reasoning. Scientists, journalists and particularly television employees strongly favor inductive reasoning, maintaining that its premises supply well-built evidence for the truth. While the other method, deductive reasoning, is said to lead us to jumping to conclusions, which is no good.

Oriana Fallachi said, "Objectivity does not exist. The word is a hypocrisy which is sustained by the lie that the truth stays in the middle. No, sir: Sometimes truth stays on one side only."

The List of Conspiracy Theories is tall. For instance, we are told that a group of international elites control and manipulate governments, industry, and media organizations worldwide. Accordingly, the said elites recruit their own senior and junior rulers around the world, including the next ruler of Syria.

Sardonically, we would like to say that the elites' satellite TVs, or rather the other giant film industry, produce minute by minute long lasting soap operas. Characters of the opera are mostly recruited ministers and presidents, all staunch followers of the principles of objectivity and people's failure to remember the past events. Therefore, News Shows broadcast nauseating stories. The developers use their available stock characters: one walking and looking like a pelican, another stammering hissing sounds through a neck resembling a giraffe, or a character that cannot coordinate the movement of his hands, but his gaits are like that of a rodeo cowboy or a character who gets very jittery, like race or jump horses upon seeing hurdles, staircases, and races up or down, making some cultured people raise brows. Well, we accept that the playwright is meant to misinform the masses and thus excusable.

Now, let's take a look, momentarily, at a well-know conspiracy theory called Central Banking and Electronic Conspiracy. Well, all schoolboys are familiar with barter trading which began thousands of years ago, evolving from salt pills, cut stones, gold coins, as means of transaction, to credit cards.

However, something has happened, in between, forcing some of us to suspect the credibility of this so-called Conspiracy which has turned the means of transaction, money, like a magician, invisible. Now, my meager saving is in the hands of someone who provides me a user's name, a password and a security code that he keeps in his own files and can send to a cohort just by a single click. The scheme is commensurate with dissolution of all nationalities, ending up to one point: One world One rule. To facilitate this process my and your personal accounts are formulated after a formula: International Bank Account Number (IBAN). For instance, in Saudi Arabia the IBAN is "SA03 8000 0000 6080 1016 7519". What is yours? What about you National ID Card Number, Social Security Number, printed on your passports? Or Holographs.
What is needed to build a worldwide database system?

Conspiracy Theories are not such bad ideas. For example, you see a lovely female, scantly dressed, promenading in Oxford Street, London. Her highlighted hair shines bright in the sun. She wears no bras; her cleavage arrests your eyes; her protruding breasts squeeze a gland in your abdomen. You see no lingerie seams visible under her tight hot pants. Her perfume gently stimulates all your senses. But you, as an ill-disciplined boy, keep asking naughty questions: what's the size and contours of her private part? Do they pattern after Monica Lewinsky's lips if flipped 90 degrees?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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