Super-size Cadillac XXXTS Initial Impressions

Written by Moose

Thursday, 15 August 2013


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ANN ARBOR, MI - The 2014 Cadillac XXXTS's biggest feature is the use a four-axle chassis utilizing 18 wheels, based very loosely on the XTS. There will be an all-wheel drive version as well.

Car And Erection magazine received the 16-ton SUV via MATSON and was delivered in San Francisco by Yong Sheng, a 19,000-ton freighter. The SUV is manufactured in Mexico, shipped to China for final assembly and then sent to the USA for consumption.

The styling of the new XXXTS is dominated by 32 headlights and 27 taillights. The asymmetric arrangement of taillights and combination of cubic inches and transmission speeds is intended to draw attention to the small penis size of the driver. As regular readers of Car And Erection Magazine can attest to, the XXXTS surpasses the current small-penis leader, the Chevrolet Corvette in every measurable way...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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