The War on Knowledge: 'Ignorance is the New Intelligence'

Funny story written by Youssef Shaalan

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

"Ignorance is bliss", that's my motto. The less you know the better, whatever the subject is. I look around and I see people desperate to learn, people who work so hard to have the best education, and little do they know that what they've spent their whole lives trying to accomplish is what will lead to their utter misery. Don't be fooled! Education is nothing but a conspiracy created by those who are secretly controlling the world. Whoever they are. Schools are organizations formed to brainwash children and provide them with destructive data and knowledge. Teachers are merely agents working to demolish our future. They're trying to eradicate ignorance and fill our minds with plenty of information to have us dazed and confused while they control the world. Ignorance is bliss, and gen is hell.

When you pass by a hobo who's standing in the middle of the street, smiling at people's faces with a handful of coins clutched in his palms, and you ask yourself why they're so happy? Do you think it's because they're educated and full of knowledge? No. It's because their life is lavished with treasured ignorance. I envy these people. I despise my parents for forcing me to attend school and learn what I now try so hard to erase from my mind. I also pity them for dying believing that intelligence is the key to a fruitful life. Look at Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Thomas Edison. Look what intelligence got them to? Only death. Can you name any influential ignorant people have ended up like those people did? I don't think so.

We must make it our number one priority to fight these knowledge-spreading institutions and make this world a better place for our children. A place full of ignorance and inexperience. And what's the first step you take in order to defeat your enemy? Destroy their most powerful weapon. Books. Books are the bringer of knowledge. Books carry the words of those who plot to rid the world of ignorance. And they're everywhere. All around you, you will see this horrible weapon disguising itself as a useful tool when in fact it destroys lives. By providing a massive effort into bringing awareness to this, we will be able to raise enough money to fund what I call, "The War on Books" or "The War on Knowledge". Don't listen to schemers like Ray Bradbury (Author of 'Fahrenheit 451') who try to make you believe that books are treasures that should be read and protected. Books should be thrown away, burned, destroyed! History, Science, Philosophy, Math, Economics, Arts; they're all poisonous subjects created by the conspirators to destroy your brain and lead you in the wrong direction. Don't be fooled!

To change the world, you must first start with yourself. So if you want to play a major role in the War on Knowledge, you need to begin locally. The first step you should take is to get rid of any books, especially Encyclopedias, or any source of knowledge. If you're forced by your parents to attend a school then I advise you to stand up to them and drop out immediately. Don't talk to teachers and cover your ears every time they start to speak. Then, start gathering a few friends and form an assembly, and start convincing other people to join in. But be vigilant and keep your group underground for the time being. Try your best to abolish books and sabotage schools. Make sure you don't have any moles in your brotherhood; teachers shouldn't be underestimated. The bigger and stronger you grow, the more enemies you will have. Keep doing this and step-by-step many groups will flourish into one huge crowd, and then, only then, will the "Ignorant Revolution" truly begin. And history will remember our names.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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