Jobs are 'boring', says everyone

Funny story written by Will Franklin

Saturday, 7 April 2012

image for Jobs are 'boring', says everyone
"I'm just going for a quick nap"

Employment has been found to be buttock-clenchingly monotonous, a new study suggests.

Last week many in employment noted that work is as dull as reading a Brontë book; this is in fact one definition of the term.

Now a new study has been published showing that the things we do to earn money, is never the thing we want to do.

What is surprising is that while work has been piling up and getting slowly done for at least the last 42 years, nobody had yet commented on how mind-numbingly tedious having to go to work actually is.

It remains unclear what part of work is the dullest, but some experts pass off the tedium as bad PR rather than the act of working itself. Barry, an expert on the brain said, "the title of 'work' is detrimental to our motivation to do it. 'Work' needs a reboot; people need to be eased into working slowly, we need to trick people into working like parents did with tidying up. "Let's have a race to see who can go without sleep the longest!"

One Liberal theorist suggested there might be jobs people enjoy going to and actively try to succeed in, but this has been dismissed as madness. One Conservative Peer commented, "A person should like their job only marginally more than they like being homeless."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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