Common Queer Traits

Written by walter

Monday, 5 March 2012

Charles Darwin (1809 - 1882), an English naturalist, said all species originate from common ancestry. Well, if the idea is true, then the genes of our ancestors must be present in us.

For instance, there is a trait in many people who have a tendency to worship masters. A second trait is a personality disorder found in a number of people, a disorder which is called grandiosity, an unrealistic sense of superiority. This defect was frequently seen in some people of the past who firmly believed they were either God or God's associate or God's relative or at least his Ambassador to earth. I am not so sure if this comes from our common ancestry, but, irrespective of its origin, this trait is found in a number of people who have molested scientists.

An instance of overbearing grandiosity is what happened to Copernicus, an astronomer (1473 - 1543) who had pissed off the Catholic Church authorities who believed that "The world cannot move; the Lord set the earth on its foundations. And the sun rises and sets and returns to its placeā€¦"

Fortunately, grandiosity-affected authorities in Europe, now enjoying a sustainable prosperous business as usual vs. sick economy of other businesses of the people, have chosen to relax their rein on people like Charles Darwin, Copernicus etc, but their comrades in arms, in Moslem countries, are still burning their Copernicus at stakes.

As to flattery,a third trait, there is a great deal of literature. This trait is found in dogs, man's best friend. It happens that dogs have feelings, just like us. They feel tension, sadness or happiness, just like us. Additionally, dogs are driven to please! Dogs are extremely loyal and dependent on their masters. Briefly, they represent the essence of worship, adulation and flattery.

Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745), an Irish satirist, put the following words in the mouth of Gulliver: "I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers, to ascribe the greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to Fools, Sincerity to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of their Country, Piety to Atheists, Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informersā€¦"

Dante, (1265 -1321,), Italian poet described flatterers as people wading in human excrement, representing their words as excrement, in 8th Circle of Hell.

However, there is fourth common trait well displayed in roosters and hens, which is wittingly, passed to human beings.

A rooster grabs a chick by the neck, jumps on her back in a violent manner, without any foreplay, and rapes her. This violence dishevels the chick's feathers. Conjecturally, it is appealing to them. This enjoyment is displayed by a "fluff', an orgasm reaction.

Interestingly, a fifth common trait is seen in some chickens who get engaged in lesbianism. Of course, not so violently as a rooster's raping. Lesbianism in chickens happens when the bullying hen finds another chick attractive. The overriding hen gets on the back of the underling, while other chicks encircle the couple. They, like humans watching a porno, turn rigid and stare intensely at the dominant chicken. They even support the riding chick not to slide down during "the act". Apparently, they all find it entertaining.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more