Rocky Rocks

Funny story written by walter

Monday, 2 January 2012

Years before Christ, some say, Russians had many gods, among whom there was a god called Mithra. Allegedly, migrating Aryans brought Mithra to India and Persia. After the conquest of Persia by Alexander, 4th century B.C., Romans began worshiping Mithra. They believed Mithra was born from a mountain rock.

On the other hand, the stories go that God had secret meeting with some originators of major religions including Moses who was summoned to Mount Sinai where God kindly gave him the Ten Commandments tablet. Kim Jong-il, North Korea, bordering Russia, was born in a secret military camp on Baekdu Mountain. His birth was foretold by a swallow, a complete double rainbow, and a new star, born in the heavens!

Anyway, to create a larger than life person, one needs to abundantly use propaganda. In the past, when there was no TV propaganda, interested parties needed to attach themselves to deities and claim performing miracles. According to 'newser' an internet publication, luckily happened to bypass filtration by a member of the 'Axis of Evils', quotes North Korea TV as saying, 'A fierce snowstorm paused and the sky began glowing red above the sacred Mount Paektu just minutes before leader Kim Jong Il's death. The ice on volcanic Lake Chon at the mountain in the far north cracked with a loud roar. And in the city of Hamhung, a Manchurian crane circled the statue of Kim's father, late President Kim Il Sung, before alighting on a tree, its head drooping before it took off toward Pyongyang.'

In USA, Reverend James Warren "Jim" Jones (May 13, 1931 - November 18, 1978) who forced his followers, 909 devotees, to ingest cyanide, was very critical of the United States actions against the communist leader, Kim Il-Sung.

It seems, the cult of personality, after the death of the man-created deity, can continue for centuries. The followers of the dead deities continue to believe that the torch passes to the deity's son. No wonder if you see in Iraq or other countries of Middle East some devotees split the crown of their head with a sword, self-flagellate their bleeding back with chains or beat their chests on the anniversary of the death of religious figures died centuries ago.

The people who offer their life or money to man-made deities, do not have to necessarily be the followers of the same creed, Irreligion, Christianity or Islam. However, it seems whenever this cult of personality starts, there is an element of mountain rock present. Here I would like to paste a part of the last paragraph of my story 'Metaphysical Affair', 18 November 2007, in Spoof:

"Putting my lips on one protruding projection, mysteriously I felt being kissed. A little stationary movement gave me a very peculiar sensation. Inching to the right and to the left, I unintentionally brought my genitals on the top of a peculiar bud as if scaled down to fit my body! A little round and round turn gave me different sensation than I had ever felt before..."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more