Written by MonkeyInTheBath

Wednesday, 21 December 2011


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image for Letters to Santa

Dear Santa,

I would like a manufacturing sector for Christmas. We seem to have lost our old one.

Thank you,

David (Cameron)

Herr Claus,

I am not sure what to ask for this year - something to stop those South Europeans from badgering us for more money would be useful. Perhaps a Swiss bank account, or a big stick.

Auf Weidersehen,


Monsieur Noel,

For Christmas I would like either my wife or my mistress to have larger breasts, I'll let you decide. Also if you could give the UK a credit downgrade then I will spend Christmas wringing my hands with superiorly smug satisfaction.



Howdy Santa,

It's a pleasure to write you. For Christmas I'd like you to give me the most outrageous, redneck, conservative Bible basher possible for a Republican candidate.

Thank you very much,


Ni-Hao Bearded Western Present Wizard,

I hope your elves are nearly finished those suitcase nuclear weapons I ordered. They should help us begin 2012 with a bang and by Chinese New Year we will have begun our campaign of world conquest.

Also more crispy duck, we ran out.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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