Christine Lagarde: Speaks of sex in hotel bedrooms

Funny story written by French Marilyn

Wednesday, 29 June 2011


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No Sex For IMF Head

Christine Lagarde, the IMF's new head, has vowed to always keep the door of a hotel room in which she's staying, wide open.

Speaking to this reporter she said: "My hotel bedroom will be for sleeping only. Sleeping alone that is. I will always keep the door open. Anyone walking by will be able to look in and see that I am not engaging in any shenanigans of the sexual kind."

She has even vowed to have her lover, a French entrepreneur, chemically castrated for the five years that she will be in office. (NB: Chemical castration unlike physical castration, is reversible.)

She said: "Make no mistake, it will be a case of 'no sex please, I'm Head of the International Monetary Fund'."

She's even going to request that any male hotel staff who will have contact with her are put into chastity belts. "These are now made of cotton and quite comfortable," she said.

How does she know this?

"Ever since I've become interested in the IMF job, I've had my boyfriend wear one," she confessed.

Will such a 'no sex' rule not be tough on him - he is French after all?

If so, she said, she will buy him a life-sized rubber doll in Paris's Pig Alley (Pigalle).

"I will at the next G20 meeting propose that VAT (Value Added Tax) on sex toys is removed. It will make it much easier - and cheaper as there will be no large legal bills for sex pervs who have been caught misbehaving in hotel bedrooms - for the oversexed to find gratification."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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