A Full Review of WindowBlinds

Written by Adam Click

Monday, 4 July 2011


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for A Full Review of WindowBlinds
After installing WindowBlinds you can surf the web in total privacy.

When I first encountered WindowBlinds I was confused. After all, I live in a second floor apartment which is surrounded by trees. What use would I have for WindowBlinds? The answer came one afternoon shortly after acquiring WindowBlinds, as I was surfing the web in the privacy-or so I thought-of my bedroom.

Imagine my surprise,and that of the window washer, when I looked up after pleasuring myself and saw him gaping wide eyed at my naked form. Although the rest of the afternoon passed pleasantly enough, as soon as he left I reached for my new copy of WindowBlinds and promptly installed it.

Like other Windows products, WindowBlinds are elaborately packaged with lots of other goodies included, which I'll discuss later. Suffice it to say that that free subscription offer to Drummer Magazine will not go to waste!

Installation was fairly straight-forward for a Windows product, although my copy was missing a few screws. Other than that you basically just decide where to install it and Windows takes care of the rest.

Once WindowBlinds is installed, you'll have to decide whether to leave it open all the time or close it periodically. After my surprise encounter with the window washer I decided to leave mine closed except when I'm feeling particularly lonely.

One of the nice features of WindowBlinds is that they can be left completely closed or partially open. I didn't discover this until a nice police officer explained it to me on my way to the station, after an unexpectedly rowdy session with my new, compulsively clean friend, Tony, drew the ire of the straight-laced couple across the way.

Needless to say, I'll be a lot more careful using this feature of WindowBlinds in the future.

WindowBlinds comes in two versions, vertical and horizontal. I like the horizontal position myself although I do understand those who want to do it standing up.

WindowBlinds is backwards compatible with Windows 98 and Windows XP. If you are among the unfortunate few still using Windows ME however, you'll have to settle for WindowShades instead.

Now about those extras. Besides the aforementioned magazine subscription, WindowBlinds also includes a wireless mouse shaped like a vibrator, several lengths of cord and a wet wipe in case things get messy.

All in all, WindowBlinds is a satisfying product destined to give you hours of joy in the privacy-or not-of your own home. Two thumbs up-which is all anybody is entitled to- from this very satisfied reviewer. Go out and buy WindowBlinds today. You'll be glad you did.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more