Famous Discoveries in History

Funny story written by rvler9201

Tuesday, 19 April 2011


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Scientists at the University of Michigan have discovered a magnetic property of light that could be used to generate solar power, possibly opening up new fields of cheaper and more efficient energy sources. Let's look at some other famous discoveries over the years.

175,000 B.C.: Correlation between having oxygen and not dying established.

1492: Christopher Columbus discovers America. And by "America", we mean "The Bahamas". And by "discover", we mean "met the people who lived there for thousands of years."

1608: Hans Lippershey invents the telescope. No, it wasn't Galileo, but thanks for trying.

1859: In a move that famously set him at odds with the Christian establishment, Darwin concludes that the Hokey-Pokey is almost certainly what it is all about.

1873: The city of Troy, long thought to be purely mythological, is discovered. Will later be used to justify spending millions of taxpayer dollars to look for Bigfoot and Atlantis.

1900: Nikola Tesla redefines our understanding of the universe; goes ignored for decades because Tesla is also batshit crazy.

1912: The sinking of the RMS Titanic shows that, contrary to established Victorian dogma, men are just as drownable as women and children.

1996: After a shootout with Junior M.A.F.I.A., it becomes apparent that the Wu-Tang Clan is indeed something to fuck wit'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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