Written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

image for International survey proves religion is extinct, thank God!
Jesus out, I phone in!

In several countries a survey was carried out over people's affiliation with religion and the results were quite shocking. In fact, in most countries, the survey discovered that religion is nearly extinct. "Thank God," said the atheists. ("Daddy, I thought atheists didn't believe in God?")

The reasons for so many people turning their backs on God and his religions is the internet (new age religion), iPod's, iPhones, etc, (youth religions), satellite, soap TV (moron's religion), premier league footy teams (even more morons religion), Catholic priests (nobody wants their religion especially kids!?), Barack Obama and Bin Laden (their own religions), etc, etc. ("Daddy can I have an iPhone for my 4th birthday, iPromise I'll believe in it and be a good boy?)

The churches and places of worship have now transcended to behind computer screens (of all shapes and sizes) and basically there is no need for "him" anymore.

Those who still believe in the traditional religions have sworn revenge on the non-believers and swear it was them who caused the earthquake and tsunami in Japan? (Daddy I thought that God was a loving being, why then did he cause all of those deaths in Japan?" Daddy answered, "good God, I'll get you a damn iPhone, but only if you stop asking these damn questions!" Damian smiled?)

Jesus Christ!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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