Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 2 March 2011


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image for The Shocking Revelation - Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King's "Relationship" Is Reportedly 'On The Rocks.'
The amount of interest that Oprah Winfrey's savings account earns every 17 hours.

CHICAGO - Longtime BFF's Oprah "The Queen" Winfrey and Gayle "The King" King's relationship appears to be on the rocks.

Reports coming in from several sources state that there is trouble brewing in the big mansion in Chicago.

And Oprah's token boyfriend Stedman Graham is sitting on the sidelines by hisself, I mean himself on this one.

Winfrey who has so much money that she recently expressed an interest in purchasing Wilileaks, New Hampshire, and The Gulf of Mexico is apparently extremely upset at an interview that Gayle gave to Neville Twickenbuck of England's Tickety Boo News.

Gayle started off by informing Twickenbuck that she has known Oprah for ten years and in that time she has gotten to know her so well that she knows that her left tonsil is not really shaped like a normal tonsil and that it looks more like a little bitty eggplant.

King also revealed that Oprah likes to cook in the nude, watch sports on TV while wearing either a Chicago Cubs baseball cap or a Chicago Bears football helmet, and that her favorite number is 7,938.

Gayle laughed and said that two years ago Oprah's favorite number was 2,519 but she changed it for a reason known only to her.

Twickenbuck asked about Winfrey's history of her well documented 'yo-yo dieting' where she would lose 40 pounds and then gain back 42, or lose 51 pounds and gain back 54.

Gayle shook her head and replied, "Ah hah, I be telling da woman fa ages ta stop doin dat up and down chit and ta lose da damn poundage and keep da damn poundage off, but Miss O, she sumtines can be's one big, assed stubborn mammy woman."

When asked what Ms. Winfrey currently weighs, Gayle thought for a second and replied, "Well she way herself a week ago lass Tussday and she be done tippin da scales right at 247 or dare 'bouts I pretty mush reckon uh huh."

Neville Twickenbuck thanked Gayle for being so gracious and for allowing him to take a shower in her personal master bedroom shower.

Gayle told him not to mention it, she expressed her embarrassment at the fact that Twickenbuck had gotten both of his pant legs peed on by Mr. Oreo, one of the many roving ostriches that live on the mansion grounds.

An unnamed source revealed that when Oprah heard about Gayle's interview with The Tickety Boo News where Gayle mentioned her weight she literally hit the ceiling.

She called Gayle every four-letter word in the book and she even made up some, unless they were Swahili curse words, which they may very well may have been.

One of Winfrey's mansion employees said that she overheard Miss Oprah telling Gayle that she wanted for her to give her back the keys to the 2011 Lamborghini that she had bought for her this past Valentine's Day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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