Today's News With Rush Limbo #5

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

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More Mother-In-Law Problems!

Today's News With Rush Limbo!

We're ready to go here. Today is all about what YOU, the listener, want to talk about...but please, no more stutterers. I know I have a hearing problem but the 15-minute call for the guy to ask the question yesterday was a little too much. Just have a friend call. Maybe a "Peckerhead" can help you out.

In the news today, it seems like President Obama's mother-in-law caught him smoking and she and Michelle made him smoke the whole pack. Witnesses say that the President sneaked out later and went to an ice cream store and ate half a gallon of Rocky Road.

So we now know that the President of the United States is on a Rocky Road. Also, this health care thing he's pushing, he'll be needing it for himself in the not too distant future.

The Academy Awards Show is coming up soon. Plastic surgeons are booked up. Many are saying, 'Don't worry about the price of oil. Just keep that Botox flowing.

A report from Bowling Green, Kentucky says that their city is doing fine during the recession. In fact, tourism is up nearly 25% there over the past couple of years. Most of them are from other countries who want to come by and see Mammoth Cave and also the Corvette Plant, the last international product that is made only in America.

Sarah Palin stated today that if the United States ever had a national health service bill passed, she was leaving the country. Where is she going? Well, she stated that it's a toss-up between Canada and England.

Lady GaGa has told the press that the reason she came to the Grammy Award Show in an egg was to symbolize all the chickenshit recording executives who wouldn't even give her a chance to show them her talent during the 2-3 years she was trying to audition.

Oil surged to a 28-month high of $100 a barrel today as escalating violence in the OPEC producer Libya slashed output there and investors believe the unrest could spread to other oil exporters. "Forget the gold" most investors are now saying. Dig a big hole in your back yard, bury a big tank and fill it with oil."

Back with the calls after these messages:"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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