Written by Jenny Grene

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

image for Renaissance Agony Aunt

Dear Auntie Hilda,

I'm going through a really tough time at the moment in my home life. My father died a while ago and my mother remarried his brother shortly after (we even had the funeral meats at the wedding!). I keep being haunted by my father (literally), and this is having an effect not only on me, but everyone around me. I can't help thinking that it's possible my uncle killed by father in order to become King, which is really affecting my work and personal life in the castle.

On top of all of this, I'm worried about my girlfriend. Court life is definitely taking its toll on our relationship, and we always seem to be arguing these days. I'm not even sure that we have a proper relationship. I tried to get the spark back into our relationship by bursting into her quarters in the middle of the night, but she didn't go for it.

I've even started to wonder whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them. Please help!

Hamlet the Dane.

Dear Hamlet,

It sounds like you're having a really tough time of it! Your stress is obviously rubbing off on those around you and this can have a really negative impact on a closed-off environment. I think the first thing you should do is stop confiding your fears to others. If you really want to find out whether your father was murdered, why not act mad? This is a great way of maintaining friendships whilst being able to push boundaries. If this doesn't work, why don't you think about putting on a play whose plot is similar to how you think your father was murdered? This might be a handy way of getting the truth out of your uncle without needing to directly confront him.

It sounds like you're really overthinking things- it might be better for you to act directly on impulse. For example, if you feel the need to confront someone, even violently, maybe it would be better for your psyche to go through with this?

With regard to your girlfriend, if she doesn't respond to her boyfriend bursting into her quarters, what kind of girl is she?!?!?! I think it would be best for your relationship to leave her be, and let her make up her own mind about everything. Perhaps it would be good for you to move in different circles for a while. At the moment your friends are courtiers and royalty- why not go a completely different way and try hanging out with some fun loving pirates?

I hope this helps!!!

Lots of love, Auntie Hilda XOX

Dear Auntie Hilda,

It didn't help.

Hamlet the Dane.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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