London Theatre Roundup

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Thursday, 13 January 2011

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A ticket to the Queen's Anus

Hello luvvies, this is Cecil Poofburger, and here is this week's summary of theatrical happenings in London's West End.

This Thursday marks the opening of "Bizz", the musical hit show based on the songs of the 1980s band "Bucks Fizz". The show is unusual for a West End production in being only 55 minutes long. It is also unusual in featuring an audience participation segment where theatre-goers have to vote for their favourite character. In order to allow the votes to be counted, the intermission is extended by an hour, bringing back memories of those endless evenings watching Eurovision song contests. Definitely one for the camp or terminally ill.

I was delighted to view the premiere of Henry Rectumson's new opera, "The Queen's Anus", which details the life of the current Queen's proctologist and butler, Jeeves. My favourite bit is when the Queen is constipated and Jeeves sings to her colon to get it to open up - "Release, let loose, gush forth, expunge, and I shall fetch the royal sponge" is a couplet which shall live long in my memory.
I should also warn you that the first few rows may be sprayed with faeces during the spectacular ending.

Finally, I happened upon this next play while wandering the backstreets of Soho. Entitled "Gay sex, £10", I entered a small but intimate auditorium, in which I appeared to be the only audience member. I was then treated to a lesson in audience participation which "Bizz" could only dream of.

Until next time, luvvies!

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