Lindsay Lohan Threatens the American Way of Life

Written by Buck E Filbert

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

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Should people end up here because they get high?

Lindsay Lohan's outrageous antics the last couple of years has women's groups up in arms.

Soccer moms across the nation are banding together to protest Lindsay Lohan's behavior lately. Lindsay's troubles started innocent enough to begin with. She was seen frequenting the latest hot spots, drinking to excess. Just doing the normal things almost all young adults do when they arte given the freedom to do whatever they want to do.

The difference between Lindsay Lohan and the average young adult is, most kids reserve their partying to the safety of the college campus where they really get their first taste of freedom away from the family.

Lindsay on the other hand is followed around by cameras 24-7 so anything she does is amplified by a factor of 1000. All the warts are exposed publicly and non-complementary.

Most campus security officers agree that, if you were to single out almost any of our students, follow them around all the time, they'd make Lindsay Lohan look like Mother Theresa in comparision.

A spokes woman for the women's group, Purity in Society said, Lindsay Lohan could take our country to it's knees with her actions. Just what kind of example is she setting for my daughter? If all the young ladies ran around showing their unmentionables to everyone we'd all go to hell."

From a societal stand point what danger does Lindsay really pose?
It seems like the only person she's hurting is herself. Only reason she's in trouble is because drugs are illegal. If Lindsay lived in Amsterdam would there be all this ruckus?

From Sunset and Vine
Buck E Filbert

Somewhere thinkin:
Vices are their own punishment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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