In a rare show of bipartisan unity, leaders of the Democratic and Republican parties agreed to make the following pledge to the American people:
"We pledge not to ask Americans for shared sacrifice in order to eliminate the deficit. Republicans will keep repeating no new taxes, Democrats will refuse to budge on entitlement spending, and neither party will propose cuts in defense. Both parties will always use the current state of the economy as an excuse to avoid dealing with the deficit.
With these steps, we will guarantee gridlock in Washington, and totally abdicate our responsibility to protect the nation from a financial tsunami.
We will ensure that our offspring are saddled with a mountain of debt. We will give China the power to blackmail the United States by refusing to finance our national debt. We will ensure the sudden collapse of our financial system when other countries refuse to buy our securities. We will condemn future generations of Americans to a greatly depressed standard of living. In this way, we promise to steal from our children and grandchildren in order to make life better for ourselves.
We will talk and talk and talk about these problems but never do anything. Let no one say our two parties cannot agree on anything. When it comes to allowing this great nation to go bankrupt, we are all on the same page."
