Lauryn Hill Forgot To Give Me Ketchup

Written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 18 September 2010


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There's nothing more shocking than ordering some yummy artery-cloggers from the Burger King value menu, driving up to the second window, and seeing someone you recognize.

The best is when it is a girl you were in love with in high school, who wouldn't piss on your head if your Phillies cap was on fire. "Guess it all went downhill after 10th grade. Right, Nancy Reagan?"

Imagine my surprise when it was incredibly talented singer Lauryn Hill.

If you want to be exposed to 35 minutes's worth of absolute genius, dig out your CD of "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill." No matter how many times you hear this self-produced album,it will move you.

And, sadly, if you want to see the product of a brilliant mind that is far-too-steeped in crazy, watch her Unplugged session. When she bursts into tears while singing "I Gotta Find Peace Of Mind," you will want to reach through the television and offer Hill a hug.

She's been working on a follow-up to Miseducation for 12 years now. Her record company has already spent $2.5 million on its production, and it ain't ever getting finished.

Even with a reported net worth of $20 million, Hill is living with her mother in an apartment in South Orange, NJ, and working at a Wendy's part time.

Perhaps therapy and medication will help Lauryn Hill find the peace from her inner demons. And even if that course of treatment robs the world of a beautiful mind, she so richly deserves it.

She deserves to find peace of mind.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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